A Series of Letters, Prayers, and Psalms: Prayer Against Morality

Lord,


Reveal Your greatness to me.

Permit me perspective enough to seal my insignificance.

Make the chasm between us known.

Lord, how very big you are!

This generation is but a speck beneath Your fingernail.

May Your creation be conscious of Your glory.

Do not allow Your servant to be puffed up.

Humble me, oh Lord.



I repent my goodness.

Every deed committed to prove my worth.

A compilation of reasons You should love me.

This record omits every imperfect deed.

How quickly I cover the blemish and offer gilded obedience to You.

There is no joy in these works—

slaved away to avoid condemnation,

never performed of gladness or understanding.

I asked little of You.

Instead, desperate to please,

I perfected my performance and begged You to acknowledge me.

Confirm my value, Lord.

Have I not earned Your praise?

I did all You said.

Begrudgingly, I followed every rule.

When things went awry, I blamed You.

With all of my effort-

You owed me Lord.

You were indebted to every box checked.

What foolishness is rooted in me!

Greatness I imagined.

You I made so small.

I missed everything.

At arms length, I remained in darkness.

Self righteousness, my god, left me insecure in Your presence.

From my moral high ground, I judged the world.

Quick to rebuke, I condemned only myself.

It was not brokenness that got in the way, Lord, but goodness.

Bring sound to these deaf ears!

Forgive me.

I thought I could build a tower to You.

Only Your abundant grace could ever make a way.

Soften the heart of this deserter.

Teach her to return.

Thank you, my Savior,

Your mercy rivals Your grandeur.

Never once did You leave.

When I search, there I find You.

Despite my avoidance, You continue to cover.

My stubborn heart is blind to the mountains You moved.

What have I done to deserve such love?

My laughable list is

worthless, untrue.

Still, You await my return, prepared to celebrate with fine wine, a lavish feast.

Help me comprehend.

My gift in You.

My gift is You.

You, Lord, need nothing from me.

But how You want for me!

Unworthy, but so valued in Your eyes.

How could You love this messy existence?

Again and again, You create an escape.

How deep the well of forgiveness!

Too high to count, the tally marks of grace.

You save me from self.

Uncontainable joy in a salvation unearned!

I lay myself before the King.

Accept my insufficient gratitude.

Never allow these eyes to wander.

Keep Your hand heavy and guide me in Your perfect ways.

Contrast the hollowness of self with the holiness of You.

Honor and Glory and Power to You,

Merciful and Good,

Forever and ever

Amen



Inspired by Tim Kellers “Second Lost Son (and the Dance of God)” from Gospel in Life